Out of here
It’s one of the many moments when I wanted to be OUT OF HERE. I don’t wanna see people. I don’t wanna here something. All I really wanted this time is to SHUT OFF from this world. I am at my worst and I don’t wanna be NICE this time. So much for pretending that I am okey, that everything is okey. After keeping all frustrations to myself, now it’s like a bomb that would blast. When a friend asked me how everything’s going on, I just said “fine” because I am tired of talking about it and at the end of the day, nothing happens that would change the situation to make it better. It would only make me feel better if we’re OUT OF HERE or else I would continue building a wall to keep my sanity.
I am not naturally born RUDE nor did I was raised to be such. But I learned to be rude to people or things that I don’t want and to keep their distance from me. Yes, I am compassionate but only to the people who deserves my compassion. I couldn’t be a hypocrite pretending to like everybody around me.
My “unrefined” self is evident once I don’t like my environment – the people and the situation. So don’t try to ask silly self-answerable questions as if you are not from this world and that you are not familiar with the things around or just giving the impression that I should know better because I am the queen (in short, housemaid) here? Isn’t that each of us were given eyes and hands to be used for seeing and doing things. Why not use that for its purpose? Are those hands and eyes should not be used for house chores? That’s the problem now with being used to being so dependent on others do things for you even just simple tasks. Now don’t tell me I shouldn’t complain. I shouldn’t be if I don’t feel being taken advantage of.